One of my favorite things about being a parent is the times when I can listen to my children talk out a problem. I guess it’s the teacher in me that loves to hear exactly how a child fits a newly learned item into his understanding of the world, or just that I love puzzles of all kinds myself, but when I can hear my children talking as they try to figure out the answer to a question, I find the whole conversation to be quite intriguing. And many times, it’s also quite funny.
I read somewhere that children start to identify as a particular sex sometime between two and three years of age. That sounds about right to me because during the last couple of weeks I have overheard conversations or been directly quizzed about the differences between boys and girls. To wit:
I was in the bathroom enjoying a rare moment of daytime solitude when suddenly my daydreaming was interrupted by the invasion of a small indignant boy…
Kieran: “Why, Mommy? Why you lock me out of da bathwoom? You my best fwiend in da whole wide world!”
Me: “I didn’t lock you out, kiddo. You opened the door and ran in.”
Kieran: “Oh.”
He stared at me for a moment with a concerned look on his face.
Kiri: “Mommy!”
Me: “Yes?”
Kiri: “You poop?”
I shook my head.
Kiri: “You pee?”
I nodded my head.
Kieran: “Mommy, stand up! People stand up when dey pee!”
I laughed.
Me: “Only boys stand up to pee, Kiri. Girls have to sit down.”
Kiri: “Oh, no, Mommy, this is easy-peasy. You jus’ stand up and point your P@^#% into the potty!”
Me: “Girls don’t have p@^#%es, kiddo. We can’t stand up to pee.”
Kieran’s eyes got big.
Kieran: “Weally, Mommy?”
Me: “Yes, really. It’s true.”
Kieran: “But Casey has a p@^#%. And he be a dog! So you have one, too, Mommy?”
Me: “Well, yes, he does. He’s a boy dog. I’m a girl.”
Kieran (with big eyes, whispering): “Girl dogs no p@^#%es, either?”
Me: “That’s right. Only boy dogs have them.”
Kieran looked quite shocked for a moment, and then turned to leave.
Kieran: “No time to talk now, Mommy. Me got to go. Bye!”
Me: “Where are you going in such a hurry!”
Kieran: “Me have to tell Liam about boys and girls and p@^#%es. He’s in Kindergarten and he NEEDS to know this!”
And as quickly as he arrived, he was gone.
********
We were putting shoes on to go out on a playdate at my friend L’s house. L has three children-E, a 3.5 year old girl, A, a two old boy, and S, a 14 year old ninth-grader..
Kieran: “Tell me, Mommy, what was da baby’s name?”
Me: “His name is A.”
Kieran (smiling): ” Oh, yes! And da other one?”
Me: “Her name is E!”
Kieran: “Right! She be just like me!….But….no…she be girl…so she no p@^#%, right, Mommy?”
Me: “Right. She has no p@^#%, and she’s two years older than you.”
Kieran: “Oh, no, Mommy, me baby! So me like A?”
Me: “Well, yes, A is a boy and he’s a bit younger than you.”
Kieran: “And da other mommy? Her name?”
Me: “Her name is S, but she’s not a mommy. She’s a really big kid.”
Kieran stared at the wall for a minute, trying to reconcile everything he’d just heard,
Kieran: “No way! She too big for kid. She be another mommy! Where be her baby?”
Me: “Well, sweetie, she has no baby. She’s a big kid, too young to have a baby.”
Kieran: “You joke me? You not funny!”
He resumed staring at the wall, blinking in concentration.
Liam: “Mommy, I think Kieran is just confused.”
Kieran whipped around to yell at his big brother, who had unwittingly just taken him over the edge of sanity…
Kieran (crying): “No, Mommy! Me not confused! Me Kieran! Not confused! Me baby, me boy, me Kieran! ME!”
Liam: “It’s hard to be two, isn’t it, Kieran?
I remember this stage from when Liam went through it. It’s better this time because not only do I have have living proof that Kiri will eventually figure these big questions out for himself, but Kiri has an amazing big brother right there beside him to help.
The view out our toy room door. A lot of the snow had blown off the railings by this time, but you can see even so we had quite a bit of the stuff.
Out our living room window. Our street is normally a busy one, but very few people were out and about today. That is unusual, even for a snowstorm. The boys went out a couple of times – Liam was on a mission to set anew world record for the number of snow angels made by one boy, but he got too cold after about 15 or so…
