Come, Mommy

I’m less than satisfied with my blogging in the last few months. In particular, I’m dissatisfied because I’d like to be posting more. I had intended this blog to be a mix of a baby/family memory book with the occasional vent or whine thrown in when my sanity requires it, but the dearth of posting means there are a lot of memories, stories, and pictures that aren’t being recorded. In large part this is because I’m off having fun with Kevin and the kids and sometimes even taking some time for myself.

I do realize that with two small children I’m going to have less time for blogging pursuits. I recognize that this needy and Mommy-intensive part of their lives is so so short, so so intense, and largely, so so fun that the lack of blogging is not something that will ever be important in the years to come. And that’s OK for the most part, but still I must post more often. I need to write (or post pictures) for the therapeutic and stress-reducing (or laugh and tear-inducing) aspects of the activity.

So I’ve embarked upon a late New Year’s resolution – I am going to post regularly, at least every week, and preferably twice. Hopefully I’ll occasionally  produce a post of substance, but if nothing else, at least a run-down of the week’s noteworthy and ever-so-mundane events would fulfill the memory book aspect of Come, Mommy.

So for this entry I am going to tackle a meme that looks to be ever-so-much fun, and has been hanging around the back of my brain begging to be written ever since Amy over at Crunchy Domestic Goddess sent it to me. Basically, it’s a quick interview composed of five questions, all of which were written by Amy herself. I get to answer them, hopefully providing some interesting and/or amusing words for all of you to read. Then, in the second part of the meme, I get to take on Amy’s role. If you want to participate in this meme, leave me a note to that effect in the “comments” section, and I will compose five unique questions for you to answer on your blog.

That is how the meme goes, so here I go…

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1. You have two beautiful and amazing children. Do you feel your family is complete or can you see more kids in your future?

The trend these days, is to larger families, and everywhere I go I see families of three, four, or more children. I doubt the Menagerie House will ever see more than two children of the human variety, however. I love babies and children, and I would so love to have the amazing birth that I had with Kieran all over again. (I know, I know, I never did write his birth story. I meant to, but time has truly flown by this year. However, his 1st birthday is on Easter Sunday, and I think that would be terrific time to tell the story. So that’s what I plan to do. Hopefully fate allows this plan to come to fruition.)

There are, however, certain realities of life that present themselves here. Kevin feels that two children make a complete family for us, and on most days I agree with him. Also, I am not getting any younger, and I am now quite ancient of Advanced Maternal Age. We’ve been blessed with two wonderful, healthy boys, and I’m not sure I want to roll the dice on fertility and chromosomal issues again given my age. I do think, though, that were I to have an unexpected pregnancy I would be quite happy (after I got over the shock.)

And thank you, Amy, for the compliment on my sons. I personally think they are beautiful and amazing, too, but I’m their mom and therefore it is my privilege to be biased. I’m glad you enjoy reading about them!

2. What little known fact about you might surprise some of your readers?

Well, had I written this post in a timely fashion I would have told you about my knitting hobby. But I resurrected it back in January and have already done some posting about it. So, hhhhmmmmmmm, little known fact, little known fact…

Aha! I love flowers and plants. I plan to do a simple garden of watermelons, pumpkins, carrots, and tomatoes with Liam this summer. And I recently discovered the hobby of dried-flower arranging. I got my hands on some dried peonies, rose buds, lavender, angels’ breath, and a variety of seed pods, and I’ve made some simple arrangements for our home. It was fun!

3. Now that we’ve entered into the Waldorf school system with Ava in preschool, I love to learn all I can on the subject. Why did you choose Waldorf for Liam and do you plan to send Kieran there as well?

We chose Waldorf for Liam for several reasons. Part of it is our strong disagreement with the emphasis on standardized testing and grades that is going on in the public schools at the moment. In our local district it is not uncommon for seventh graders to start tutoring for the SAT’s, and even early elementary students spend four or five days a month (some months more) either practicing for or taking standardized tests. I feel strongly that this focus can lead to all-or-nothing thinking where each problem has one right answer. The real world is clearly not that simple. Of all the skills I think tomorrow’s adults will need, being able to think creatively and solve problems with messy solutions will be up there in importance.

I further mourn the loss of art and music in the entire school system, and I worry that the elimination of playtime and recess for the younger children is harmful to them on many levels. Kids have at least one hour of homework starting in first grade here, and I think that is too much pressure too soon for children who have barely reached an age where they can think with some intellectual strength.

Two of the fundamental tenets of Waldorf education are respect for children and respect for their needs. As adults we may feel panicky about the pace of change in the world and respond to that pressure by teaching more and more facts at an earlier and earlier age. But the fact is that children mature at the same rate they did one hundred years ago, and by trying to push them rapidly to adulthood in intellectual and behavioral areas, we do them a great disservice. The results of this for many children are anxiety, perfectionism, or giving up on learning altogether. An adult who doesn’t like to learn and who doesn’t know how to think creatively will struggle in this world of fast technological change.

Waldorf education speaks to the soul, the body, and the mind of each child through movement, art, music, literature, math, and handwork. It supports the entire child as he or she unfolds into adulthood, but does not force the child into mature roles too early. For young children like Liam, this in practical terms means a warm, cozy, home-like nursery school where play is the main idea. The children help prepare and eat wholesome homemade snacks like whole wheat bread, homemade soup, and fruit. Their classroom is full of non-commercial open-ended toys, and puppet shows and nursery rhymes are used as a way of encouraging literacy. Liam has grown by leaps and bounds there in the three years he has been involved with the school, and it really is a perfect fit for a Lemur who spends much of his time in Imagination City.

Assuming Kieran is a good fit at Waldorf he will be attending school there through Grade 8, just like his older brother. All four of us have become happy members of the school community, which serves as a system of support for both parents and children. It’s a warm, cozy fit for all of us, and we can’t imagine sending our children to a different school.

4. What led you to have a home birth with Kieran?

Our area is blessed to have a practice of experienced homebirth midwives. They have thousands of birth between the two of them. Only about 10% of their planned homebirths end up transferring to a hospital, and their c-section rate is an amazing 4%. I didn’t know that much about them when I was pregnant for the first time with Liam, but subsequently I heard all sorts of wonderful stories about their home births from other mothers at La Leche League and at Waldorf. If I had to estimate I would say 30-40% of Liam classmates were home births with these wonderful women in attendance. So I called them up first thing when I realized I was pregnant with Kieran, and the rest is history.

There is a lot of controversy about the safety of home births. I’m not going to jump into the middle of that argument here. I can’t speak to anyone else’s view, but I researched this decision up and down before planning a homebirth. The data that I found, when applied to my situation (full-term, healthy pregnancy, experienced , certified homebirth midwife in attendance, hospital with a Level II NICU within 15 minutes drive), indicated to me that if anything, birthing a baby at home would be slightly less risky than giving birth in a hospital. Although the specific threats are different in the hospital than in the home, the risk of serious injury or death to either me or the baby turned out to be lower at home due to the higher chance of infection or c-section in the hospital. So after coming to this conclusion, the choice was easy.

My birth with Kieran was much better and easier than when I gave birth to Liam. I could move or not as I saw fit, eat and drink or not as I wanted, and choose my place and position to give birth rather than being stuck in bed on my back. After he was born we lulled about and nursed at our leisure, I went to take a relaxing shower in my own bathroom, and then Kieran and I went back to bed to hang out with Liam and Kevin. There were no techs and nurses in and out at all hours looking for vital signs or blood from either me or the baby. No one came in to wake us up so that we could fill out the birth certificate forms. And when the midwives came back on the next few days to check both me and Kieran, they called first to make sure it was a good time for them to arrive.

All in all it was an empowering and relaxing birth. It allowed me to really appreciate what the human body can do, and specifically to realize how perfectly our female bodies are designed. And it allowed all of us to start our lives as a family of four while being together in our home – no separations, no interruptions, no muss, no fuss.

It was perfect.

5. Let’s say you are going to be stranded with your family on a deserted island for 90 days. What 3 things would you take with you and why?

Hhhhmmmm, I’m going to assume that this deserted island has drop service from Target so that life’s essentials like food, socks, and Diet Coke don’t have to be issues. Therefore, since I’ve already got Kevin and the boys, then all I need are our pets. I’m willing to let the neighbors feed the fish, but for a trip of 3 months, I’d be taking Casey, Houdini, and Pippi. Just think how much fun two ferrets, two little boys, and a large dog could have tunneling through all that wonderful sand!

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And there you have it – Part 1 of Amy’s Interview Meme. Here are the rules for Part 2:

Now it’s your turn. If you want to be interviewed, leave me a comment including the words “Interview me.” I will respond by emailing you five questions. I get to pick the questions. If you don’t have a valid email address on your blog, please provide one. You will update your blog with a post containing your answers to the questions. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the same post. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.

I hope you’ve enjoyed this post. Its content is a bit of a departure from my normal content, but, probably because it is different, I had a fun time writing it. I hope a lot of you will want to play along. It’s always fun to find out interesting new things about our friends, so do think about joining in!