Come, Mommy

The boys and I were playing at the park on one of our warmer days last week. Kiri and I took a break while Liam continued climbing. Kiri bounced on my lap, chatting away about people and activities he saw around the park. After a few minutes, a woman came striding down the path, her little black and white papillon trotting along beside her on an eye-popping purple rhinestone leash.

Kiri: “Mommy! See, Mommy? Yeash! Yeash all sparky!”

Me: “It’s shiny isn’t it?”

Kiri studied the pup for a moment: “Oh! Mommy! Meow, meow! Mommy, hey! Hey, Mommy! Meow on yeash! MEOW ON YEASH!”

He bounced even higher: “Mommy!!! Call Yee-Yee! MEOW! MEOW ON YEASH! Wow, wow, wow! MEOW ON YEASH! Yee-Yee?”

I finally managed to translate what he was saying, and it was essentially this – “Mommy! Check it out! There’s a cat walking on a leash! WHOA! Cat on a leash! We just have to tell Liam about this! Whoa! Can you believe this???? Wow, wow, wow, there’s a kitty on a leash!!! Where’s Liam? I have to tell him about this!”"

Me: “Well, it’s on a leash, but it’s not a cat. It’s a dog…”

Kiri whipped around and looked at me: “Mommy? No way. No  way dog!”

Me: “Yes way! It’s a very tiny dog…”

Kiri: “NO WAY, MOMMY! Wow! Meow on yeash!”

And with that he popped down from my lap, running away to tell Liam about the cat on the leash. Four days later, he is still talking about the cat on the leash.

People talk about how toddlerhood is such a hard time. “Terrible Two’s” and all that. And it does have its days; as Kiri totters towards age 2, he has learned to throw tantrums and spout out, “No! No!” and “Mine! Mine! Only mine!” with incredible ferocity.

But there is a lot of fun in two, and this collision of complete excitement and emerging language skills makes up one of my favorite parts of the “Terrific Two’s.”

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At the same park outing, Liam and Kiri were digging for worms in the dirt. Now, you have to understand that they are two very different little boys when it comes to dirt. Liam loves the idea of getting close-up and personal with dirt, worms, and all that boy stuff, but when his hands start to get dirty, then that’s it for him. He hates getting dirty. Kieran, on the other hand, is rarely seen without dirt, mud, chalk, marker or some other messy substance stuck to his face, hands, and clothes.

After a few minutes the boys hit pay dirt. Liam pointed to the bottom of his delicately, cleanly finished hole. “Look, Mommy! I found the first worm of Spring!”

Kieran jumped up: “Me see! Me see!”

Liam pointed to his hole: “See, Kiri? There’s the worm. That little wiggly thing down there.”

Kiri: “Me pet! Me pet! Woom! Me pet woom!”

Kiri tried to pick up the worm, but it was too slippery. Without thinking, Liam reached for the worm and scooped it onto his shovel. As soon as his fingers touched the slippery creature, he jumped up, spraying mud everywhere, yelling “Mommy! Get him off me! The worm’s on me! Ick! Get him off me!”

I picked the shaken worm up off the sidewalk, put him on a pile of dirt in the shovel, and set it down for Kieran to admire and pet. “Gentle touch, Kiri, gentle touch.”

Liam started frantically brushing mud off his shirt and pants. It smeared across his pants.

Liam: “Mommy! Oh no, it’s a stay-on! A stay-on! Oh, no!

Me: “Calm down, love. It’s just a little mud – we have a washing machine. We’ll get it off.”

Liam: “But it’s a stay-on. Did you hear what I said? It’s a stay-on!”

Me: “Slow down, kiddo! I can’t understand you…what’s a ‘stay-on’?”

Liam (in tears): “You know – a stay-on! A mud stay-on!”

He buried his face in my arms.

Me (really confused): “Honey, what is a ‘stay-on’?”

Liam: “Oh, Mommy, why can’t you hear me? A stay-on! Daddy will be mad! He’ll have to put the squirty stuff on it when he does the laundry! Noooooo…it’s a stay-on!”

Finally, the light dawned.

Me: “Oh, you mean a ‘stain’?  That Daddy squirts stain remover on?”

Liam: “Mommy, of course! Why didn’t you hear me the first time?”

Me: Well, you call it a ‘stay-on’, and I call it a ‘stain’.” It took me a minute to realize that we were talking about the same thing.”

Liam (on the verge of panic): “Daddy is going to be so mad!”

Me: “Oh, honey, I don’t think so!”

Liam: “Oh yes, he will!”

Me: “No it’s just a stain. It’s OK. You know, we could take your clothes off when you get home and wash everything. We’ll have everything clean, dry, and unstained before Daddy gets home.”

Liam brightened considerably: “Really? But, but…um…do you know how to do laundry?”

Me: “I’ve done a few loads here and there over the years. I think that if you help me, we’ll get the mud all out.”

Liam: “Well, I guess so. But will you wash the clothes by your own? Daddy’s really picky about laundry, and I don’t want to get in trouble if it doesn’t come out right…?”

Me: “Sure thing, kiddo.”

And we went home and I washed the boys’ clothes. And they came out clean. And until this moment, Daddy was none the wiser.

Over the last few days, I’ve been remembering one of my first AHA! moments ever. I must gave been about Liam’s age, and could not for the life of me figure out why a Christmas carol had the words (as I heard them), “Oh how fun it is to dry up a one-hose soaking sleigh.” I tried to envision some sort of festive place where Santa went to have his sleigh and reindeer washed and bathed in preparation for his big flight. Somehow that scene never made sense to me, and when I learned to read I was relieved to discover the actual words.

In the case of “stay-ons”, though, I’m thinking of sticking with my son’s wording. Not only is it cute, it’s actually quite accurate.